An invitation!

Pepper & Mint cordially invite you to their new home at http://pepperedthoughts.wordpress.com/

Come, grace us with your presence.

PS 1* This place has been vacated. We no longer live here. To follow the drama, arrive at our new home.

PS2* Gifts for our new home are welcome!

It is a crib fest!

If there is one thing that comes naturally to me, it is whining. When it comes to whining and cribbing, I am such a pro. One of the reasons I consider my blog to be a good friend is because it allows me the luxury to mop and wail to my heart's content, without saying a word in return.

- Let me start by talking about the chaos that is my house. The bedroom is in a perpetual state of mess. Both Mint and I have the tendency to fling our jeans on the floor. Both of us suffer from a rare condition that allows us to comfortably dwell in the mess. Lack of order doesn't bother us. In fact, my brain was programmed in a way to react only after it processed the sound of my momma screaming in the background asking me to clear the mess NOW! But now, mama isn't around here. So I tried to change the settings of my brain myself. Once in a while I do clear the room and put things in order. Only to notice that the room has returned to its original messy state within 24 freaking hours. And the heap of clothes lying around has reached unsurmountable heights. Soon we have to hop around to move across. Really, what do I do? Become responsible did you say? How do I do that?

- These days, it gets pitch dark by 5 pm! I absolutely hate it! Add to that, some days are pretty chilly. Yes, I can whine about the cold despite living in California. If I were to live in places like Boston, NY or Canada, I'd bury myself underground and resurface only after winter has officially ended.

- I've been discovering new blogs everyday. It has turned me into Alice exploring her wonderland. But reading blogs is so time consuming, and such a damn addiction. What is surprising is that every time I read a new blog, I see comments there from the people I read regularly. That makes me wonder how do people have the time to read and comment on so many blogs? How come I don't seem to have the time on a regular basis? Very unfair!

- I am thinking of moving to Wordpress. The features are so much better. But I'd only do it if I figure out a way of moving all my old posts from here. I don't break ties with my past easily you see. I still need some advice. And some help in setting up the new blog. I wish Mint wasn't so busy :( .

A peep into our home.

I finally have the pictures of the house. I was going to upload them somewhere and then thought I should also put up a few on my blog. Here are some of my favourite spots in the house.

This is where I wish I could spend my entire life - the bed. This particular bed is huge and one of the most comfortable ones I've slept on. Stepping out of here is well, painful. Do not judge me for the two stuff toys you see there. I got them almost free at some garage sales. Or okay, go ahead and judge me. I think they are cute, okay? I know I still have some growing up to do.

This is another corner I love. This is actually a shoe rack which we decided to use as a DVD stand. I think it looks very neat and I love the dash of colour it adds to our living room.

The dining table. We chose a different set up for the chairs to save space. I love the candle in the centre.

The backyard. I know a picture taken during the day would have been clearer, but I like this one more. I am a sucker for candles. I love the way they've lit up the plants.

Timeless Joy!

We all have some memories that we count on for a few smiles. This one is mine. It is one of the happiest moments of my life. I do realise the recent spate of posts dripped in saccharin can nauseate any reader. But this incident forms an integral part of my memory and I've been wanting to write about it forever. It *has* to be put on my blog.

People who know me in real life have heard about this story about 8,63,451 times. A handful of you who know me personally read my blog. You may skip this post with my best wishes.

For the rest of you, I take you back to my student days, when I was completing my Masters in UK. I've written about how Mint was an inseparable part of my life then. Without him, I wouldn't have had any shred of sanity left in me. Back then, I also missed my family a lot. I would keep yearning for home. When I finally had a chance to go to India for a few weeks, I jumped to it without further thought.

So it was during my Easter break that I went home. I was in Mumbai. It was around then that I told my parents the details about my relationship with Mint. Before that, they only had a vague idea and I always sounded non committal to them in my replies. They took in all the details, and were as usual, supportive. But they were also very apprehensive after hearing about Mint's rigid family and their non accepting nature towards people belonging to different castes and communities.

It was quite a short trip. And I had also carried with me a whole load of assignments. So between spending time at home, meeting friends and relatives, taking care of my assignments, I was quite busy.

One day, my friends called me and made plans for dinner. When I said I was a little busy with my assignments, they insisted I go for it. So I gave in. My sister and two of my best girl pals met for dinner. My friends were supposed to come back with me and stay back at my place. So the four of us got back home at around eleven pm. To my surprise, my parents weren't home! I wondered where they could go at this time. I didn't have the keys and so I called them. They said they didn't realise I didn't have the keys and asked me to take them from the neighbour after a quick apology. They told me they were out having dinner. Having dinner? They hadn't told me about any such plans.

Anyway, we finally entered the house and collapsed on the sofas in the living room. But something seemed strange. All these girls were a little giggly and restless. Finally, my best friend asked me to go get her a pillow from the bedroom so that she could sit back with some back support. Oh, get it yourself, I told her. But after being forced by all of them, I got up and walked into my room.

I entered and what greeted me shocked all my senses, rendering me speechless. The room was lit by numerous glowing candles. In the midst of the semi darkness, I saw a figure standing in the room. Whaa.. there ..is ..somebody.. in .. the .. room? I was almost going to scream and run back. And then I realised. It was Mint! He looked at me and said a cheerful 'Hi!'.

I was still frozen in shock to react. And very, very confused. I mean, Mint? The last I spoke to him a day ago he was in the US. Is it really him or am I hallucinating? How can it be him? He doesn't know the address to my house in Mumbai. How can he come here? And oh, the house was locked and there is nobody at home. How did he get in here and enter my bedroom? Okay, it has to be hallucination.

And then, all these girls ran into the room and started jumping on the bed and giggling away joyfully. Before I knew it, the camera was in my face, recording this moment. Mint seemed to be laughing along with them. I was still clueless and I stood there frozen.

Finally it hit me and I realised this was really happening. I continued standing there, trembling in shock. 'Why are you standing like that? Go hug him!', I was told. But I couldn't move. I seemed to suffer from momentary paralysis and my brain throbbed with a zillion questions pounding inside.

After I regained my senses, I managed to ask him, 'What the hell are you doing here?' and he smiled, pulled me close and said, 'I came here to be with you on your birthday'. Yes, it was my birthday the next day. I couldn't believe he had traveled all the way to be with me for a single day on my birthday. In the next few minutes, a lot of excitement followed. Soon my parents walked in beaming and asked me if I liked my surprise. They knew? I was even more baffled.

So here is what happened. Mint decided to surprise me by coming for my birthday. But he didn't have too much leave left at work. So he decided to come to India for a single day! It happened to be the weekend. He contacted my parents and told them his brilliant idea. My dad thought he was nuts to be coming from the other end of the world for a single day, just for my birthday. But he got them to agree to his plans. He then coordinated with my sister and with that, the planning began. They had to get me out of the house while he entered. My parents went to the airport to pick him up! They dropped him home and left because they thought it would be good to give us some privacy in the beginning.

Obviously, that has been the best birthday I've lived to see. When I think of the entire incident, I feel my heart burst with joy. How many people can I thank here? I still can't believe Mint did this. It requires a heart to spend something like $1500 for a single day. It isn't like he was rolling in money. He still choose to do it. Just to bring a smile to my face on my birthday? The amount of detail that went into this plan, that included the arrangement of candles was so incredible. Especially because Mint really isn't the kinds who would do things like this. But he did it for me cos he knew I love candles? And the amount of hours he traveled for? And went back to work straight from the airport after he got back despite the exhaustion? I repeat, he traveled from USA to India and spent all that money for a single day for my birthday? I think I will live in disbelief.

And how can I thank my sister enough for planning this with him for so long? And yet keeping the whole do a secret from me? And my parents? Really, I don't know where to begin. How many parents are liberal enough to go pick up a guy their daughter is dating and welcome him to their home? And even thoughtful enough to give us a few moments without their presence? How can I ever thank my parents enough for being what they are?

And how can I thank my friends for feeling my joy and jumping in excitement for me?

Sigh! If I've been the centre of such intense love, then I've lived a worthwhile life. Every time I think of this, I feel my heart leap out of my chest and flutter away to paradise.

The 'peppermint' story - part 2

If you don't know what this is about, start from here. So yes. Let us continue.

Once Mint left for USA, we continued staying in touch sporadically. This was the time when my relationship with Monster Boyfriend started getting bumpy. It started with a few things - Him blaming me when I didn't deserve it, making me the target of his wild temper, forcing me to comply to his unreasonable demands, etc. I should have heard the warning bells right then when it began and noticed the storm heading towards me before I was engulfed by the waves of destruction. But I chose to remain deaf, dumb and blind. Something I haven't quite forgiven myself for.

Life went on. At times, MB would be so good to me, he'd allow me to experience euphoria, other times he'd toss me into hell. Burning hell. I foolishly clung on to the highs, hoping he'd transform one day. I gave the world a very hunky-dory picture of our relationship. In the process, I let him cause me all the damage that was humanly possible. I could feel my spirit break, gradually.

In the midst of this, Mint told me he was going to be in India for a vacation. His trip to the country included a brief stay in Bangalore. Coincidently, I happened to be in Bangalore around the same time. At that time, our common blogger friend had also moved to Bangalore for work. So the three of us met up, at The Forum. Mint continued flirting very openly, telling me he likes me. I continued laughing it off. The common friend soon left after lunch (or was rudely asked to leave by Mint) so we could spend some time alone. We did enjoy the evening, just chatting and catching up and were sorry when it was time for me to leave.

By now, my relationship with MB was in the pits. I was put through extreme trauma. It reached a point where he started slapping me in the middle of the street if I reached a few minutes late. The constant demeaning remarks, emotional and physical abuse, succeeded in crushing my spirit, shattering my confidence and destroying my faith. I finally had the courage to walk away.

After my break up with MB, I also broke contact with most people around me, including Mint. I was vulnerable and decided to fight the demons all alone. College kept me really busy. My family was very supportive. I was trudging along.

Suddenly after a year, I got a call from an unknown number. It turned out to be Mint. He told me he was in India for his annual holiday, and would be in Mumbai for a day. So we should meet. We planned to meet in the evening, but that day I ended up getting so caught up in my assignment that I almost didn't make it. Yes, the prof who taught us Market Research was eccentric and expected us to take the drafts for approval to her house, even if it meant being there till eleven pm! But a good friend came to the rescue and said she would carry my draft with her. I am so, so glad I met him that day. For that was the turning point in our relationship. We talked over drinks and pasta. And again, I lost track of time and before I knew it, it was almost mid night and I had to answer calls from my parents. So after a hurried bye, I practically ran out. Mint had his flight in a few hours.

I got a call from him the minute he reached USA. He was very concerned and wanted to know if I ran into trouble with my parents that day for getting home so late. I thought it was extremely sweet of him. After that, we started talking online, every day. For hours.

In a few months, I had grown very fond of him and began trusting him in a way I didn't trust other people. I slowly allowed him to peek into the dark corners of my world. I shared with him the details and the depth of the abuse I had undergone in my past relationship. It is something I haven't been able to discuss with a soul. Understandably, he sounded more angry with me than anything else. He couldn't figure out how I allowed MB to emotionally slaughter me so mercilessly. And slowly, he worked on rebuilding my confidence and my spirit. Whether he did it knowingly or unknowingly, I am not sure. All I know is that it worked. At that time, he was one of my biggest supports.

He kept telling me really likes me. And I continued to laugh at that. He'd tell me he liked me since the moment he first met me and that would make me laugh more. My disbelief and tendency to brush it off would continue to trouble him.

Secretly though, I was getting emotionally involved with him. But I denied it. To myself and to him. There was no way I wanted to be in a relationship again. Didn't I know where that would lead me? I had learnt my lessons. And so, I led him onto a chase. I know I sounded so pricey, but then, I don't blame myself. And well, knowing what I had gone through, he didn't blame me either. He waited, patiently, for me to turn around. Putting no pressure and assuring me it was okay if it never happened.

And turn around I did. There was no way I could resist something so strong anymore. Without me knowing it, he had turned into my go-to person for everything. And his caring nature won me over. He'd stay with me on phone all night long. Never mind the time difference between USA and India. Never mind the phone bills.

But I am not an easy person. I still refused to commit. Why? The distance. Physical presence was very important to me. I wanted to do what other couples did. Hold hands and enjoy moon light walks. He kept asking me to give us a chance. We'll have our time, he'd say. We could work around the geographical limitations. I wasn't so sure.

I moved to UK for my Masters. Mint and I would continue to live on the phone. I was, way too dependent on him. For everything. Which bank should I open an account in? Which service provider do I use for my phone and internet connections? He'd do the research from a different continent and guide me. If I'd be lost while walking back, he'd give me directions on phone (using google maps) and direct me to the right way. If I needed help in an assignment, he'd stay up all night and work on it with me. All I knew was that life was impossible without him.

I don't even really know at what point exactly I gave in. It was so subtle, but what evolved was something so powerful. I couldn't fight the forces anymore. And he knew. Without me having said it to him. It was obvious to both of us.

That December, he came to UK to spend a few weeks with me. And we had the time of our lives. We decided to work on the distance soon. Of course, between UK, USA and India, it was going to be a hard choice. But we decided to just go with the flow and see how things turned out.

The rest, as they say is History. And as we all know, History does involve a few chapters of war. The war was with the parents. His parents. And getting them to accept our relationship. But Mint offered them absolutely no choice and they caved in.

Clearly, Mint is the best thing that happened to me. I am glad I let go of my fears and did a free fall. It qualifies as the best decision of my life.

And if you managed to reach the end and actually read this, pat yourself on the back for me, will you? I will leave you with a ghostly image of ours.

The 'peppermint' story.

So here is the story of how Pepper met Mint. At first I thought I'd just copy and paste the 'Jab We Met' section of our website. But then I thought I should put up a more detailed version. I know, I have a sadistic streak in me. Anyway, let us get started. Sit back, get some coffee, and enjoy! Your coffee I mean. (Old joke from old blog, never mind.)

The year was 2003. I had a friend who was very interested in writing and started his own blog. He passed on the link to me. That time, I was quite unfamiliar with the concept of blogs as such. While reading his post, I saw a comment there from Mint and that led me to his blog. I was intrigued. What was this? An online dairy of a stranger? The whole idea seemed fascinating and I spent a good amount of time reading his posts. So I gathered these bits of info:

- This guy was an engineering student.
- From IIT.
- He wrote mainly about his college life - The awful food in the mess, hostel life, college fests, how he hated acads and the whole load of expectations people had because of the brand value his college carried.
- He sounded very interesting.
- I hadn't ever come across any person as witty or funny as him. Everything he wrote about was frosted with layers of humour and sarcasm.

So I enjoyed reading him. Silently though. By nature, I am a lurker. I hide and watch from the sidelines. It is something I am trying to change now. Anyway, after months of being a silent reader, I added him on Yahoo Messenger after seeing his ID put up somewhere on his blog. Oh, remind me to ask him why he accepted requests from unknown girls online. Anyway, we started talking and I told him I'd been following his blog for a while. He was very responsive and we started chatting everyday. He was the one who convinced me to start a blog. He introduced me to another blogger in Mumbai, where I lived and soon we had a common group of blogger friends.

Mint and I would enjoy our late night chats and we ended up becoming thick pals. He would always tell me I was 'pretty' and 'smart'. Now if only more people thought like him. So yes, he would flirt. But in a harmless way. Because at that time, he knew I was dating somebody. Let me call him Monster Boyfriend (MB). That is what he was, but let us not get into that.

Mint had reached his final year and was almost through with his applications for his Masters in the US. He decided to make a trip to Bombay before he left the country. I was finally going to meet this guy!

The original plan was for the three of us to meet. Mint, our other blogger friend in Mumbai, and I. However, I got sick and ended up not going for that meet. But Mint is one persistent guy. He tried all possible ways to contact me and made sure we did meet before he left.

So we met. Coffee, ice creams, fun filled conversations, it was an evening well spent! Before I knew it, it was 11 pm! And a dark rainy night. I wasn't allowed to stay out that long and I remember panicking as I answered the frantic calls from home. So after a big, long hug in the middle of the platform at Dadar Railway station, we parted ways.

He left for the US. I was busy with my own life in Bombay. Juggling between college, Monster Boyfriend and other social commitments. Mint and I would talk online. I always counted him as one of my good friends. But that is all he was at that point. A friend. Had I known that he was the guy I'll end up falling in love with and getting married to 6 years down the line, I'd have passed out in shock and asked you to get a reality check. But life is full of surprises, isn't it?

The concluding episode of this saga shall follow shortly. For now, it is time for the commercials.

(To be continued..)

Give me soundless sleep!

I was going through one of my old blogs and came across this apt post I had written that perfectly summarises my current grievance. I've turned into an extremely sensitive sleeper. Most of the times Mint stays up very late at night, browsing on his laptop and I lie next to him, tossing and turning every minute, unable to sleep because he isn't sleeping. As a result I either oversleep in the mornings, or wake up sleep deprived. It results into me turning into a monster who snarls and bites at the slightest hint of a provocation.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 28, 2007

There was a time when the loudest of alarms failed to make me blink an eyelid. There was a time when I could sleep through loud music, loud honking, loud television, loud screaming sister, other loud miscellaneous noises and any kind of commotion.
And now, I wake up with a jerk if someone sneezes in Alaska. Its simply unfair. And annoying.

Weekly forecast for Pepper.

After the pleasurable weekend that included Diwali celebrations and a trip to Santa Cruz beach, you might find the coming week a tad dull and monotonous. Do not despair, keep moving and the next weekend shall be here before you know it. You will also consider getting over your reluctance to cook, because eating out so regularly is harsh on the stomach, and harsher on the bank accounts. Some people will annoy you, like never before. You will want to give in to your old desire of putting them all in the mixer. You are however, advised to stay calm. Practice yoga and meditation. Planning and organising yourself may prove fruitful. Good luck!

Mint speaks..

One of my favourite parts of our wedding was our wedding website. One of my favourite sections there was 'Him on her', where in Mint writes about me. I honestly love the way Mint writes. He is extremely witty and intelligent. And I am not just saying this because he happens to be my husband. Try arguing with him and you'll know. In fact, I am not sure how many people know the fact that we met through our blogs. Very long ago. When he was still in IIT and I was a crazy 17 year old girl. Anyway, that is a story for another day. For now, I am putting up the very flattering piece Mint wrote about me on our website.

Him on her

"Oh yes, I think we'd prefer that, though we are always game for experimentation. I'm pretty sure that you are now either groaning, rolling your eyes, hitting your head or, most likely, attempting to simultaneously accomplish all of the above thanks to my blundering attempt at humor. Your reaction is rather typical and understandable and I extend to you my heartfelt sympathies.

But then this gal comes along, who not only tolerates my “jokes”, but in fact laughs and categorizes me as witty, funny and, hold your breath, intelligent. And no, she was not lying. She really felt that way. Only a fool would not have realized that Pepper was a keeper. Now, even I am not that foolish. Ofcourse, it didn’t hurt the least bit that she was very easy on the eyes. Did I really need any more reasons? Obviously not. But there were plenty more, as I would discover.

Clichéd as the statement may be, trust me when I say Pepper is every guy’s dream come true, unless the guy in question is Elton John. She is that ideal combination of have’s and have not’s. She is very smart, but seldom a smart ass (Me? I’m just an ass). She is mature in her head, and pure and innocent in her heart. She is sharp enough to weed out my sarcasm, but naïve as ever in falling for my pranks and surprises. Oh what joy is it to surprise her with the most trivial of things and watch her eyes light up like a little kid who was handed a piece of candy. Only in this case, candy is really all it takes to make her jump in excitement, while the blasted kids these days demand PS3s.

Pepper has this uncanny ability to engage even the mute (read me) in lively conversation. Early on, I felt utmost comfortable talking to her, and in no time at all, I found myself confiding in her my deepest darkest thoughts. And mine are deep and dark as they come. But I have no reservations because she is completely water-tight and a terrific sport. There was this one time, well into our relationship, when I told her that I found her French friend particularly hot, and she was ready to set me up on a date with her, candlelit dinner et al. If that doesn’t qualify my good fortune, I don't know what does. Actually I do. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the gal who finished shopping for her wedding sari in less than half an hour. The gentlemen will have plenty of time to ponder over that during their next “casual” trip to the mall.

There are some things I got to be wary of with Pepper though. She has the memory of two elephants, while all I have are their appetites. Needless to say, I don't get away with any bluffs I try to pull off in the hope of a sketchy recollection. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that she remembers conversations with her parents from when she was 2 years old. All I remember doing at that age was wondering what that warm moist feeling in my diaper was.

Jokes apart, Pepper is easily and justifiably the better half of this pair. She is the iPhone to my AT&T, the Hakkinen to my Coulthard, the Heidi Klum to my Seal. She is my bestest friend, soulmate, lifeline, confidante, pillow, shoulder, partner in crime, and soon to be partner for life. I simply can't wait to live with her and dazzle her with my Hindi in person on a daily basis. After all, I am my baap ka beta and was taught excellent Hindi in my childhood by my Raghu thatha, a renown Hindi vidwan in his times though he was just a farmer living in a village."

Language talk

A lot of people seem quite astonished when they find out Mint and I belong to such different castes, communities, regions and perhaps even cultures. He is a Tam speaking South Indian. And me? I can't seem to classify myself. But I am put into that broad category of North Indians (According to this division, anybody who is not a South Indian happens to be a North Indian. Simple) Most of the concern people have seems to revolve around one common question - What language do you guys talk in?

I don't blame them for their candid curiosity. Typically, South Indians are not very fluent in Hindi (I do not wish to generalise, this is just based on my personal observations). And for a North Indian to learn any South Indian language is a nightmare. Will somebody please teach me Tamil before I give up completely? I understand little bits and pieces here and there. But being able to talk is a far way off.

So what language do Mint and I talk in? We speak in a mix of English and Hindi. Off late, it is more Hindi than English. Mint's ability to speak Hindi is surprisingly good. All you need to do is ignore his South Indian accent while he talks. I am so used to it, I don't think I even notice it anymore. In fact, he seems to have gotten quite used to the Bombay slang by now, and you can often hear him say stuff like ' Arrey yaar, nahi baba, abey, kya re, etc'

Now he does make some mistakes, quite hilarious if you ask me. And I am going to be mean enough to write about his usual errors here.

Mint: Woh toh andar chal gaya.

Me: Chal gaya? You mean chala gaya.

Mint: * Enquiring about some combo offer they had at a Pakistani restaurant * Toh yeh curry ke saath naan milegi kya?

Me: *giggling in the background and whispering* Its naan milega ka kya, not milegi.

Now this gender issue is quite troublesome. He insists on knowing why naan is male and not female. Uhh, I don't know. I don't have answers to most of his gender based questions.

Mint: * Looking for some restaurant while driving * Arey, usko toh idhar hi hona hai na?

Me: *Figuring out what he means - it should be here only* Idhar hi hona hai nahi. Idhar hi hona chahiye..

Sometimes its funny because he uses textbook Hindi. He'll look at something and say, 'Woh bohut sundar hai'. That makes me laugh endlessly. Sundar really? Whoever uses such words while talking? Other times, he shocks me by his knowledge of old Hindi songs. If I am listening to some stuff, he'll hum along, leaving me zapped.

And then at times, he insists on knowing more than me. Yes, in Hindi.

Mint: Do you know what 'warm' is in Hindi?

Me: *After some thought* .. I don't think there is a word for warm in Hindi. If there is, I don't know.

Mint: There is. I know it. It's 'garam'

Me: Hah! Garam is hot, not warm.

Mint: No, its warm

Me: Okay, so what do you think hot is?

Mint: Garam garam

Me: *Speechless*